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Psychological health

Marital problems

Dismantled families, directly or indirectly, is a reality in which most families live, despite the passion for understanding that appears at the beginning of the relationship between two partners in the courtship or acquaintance phase, both parties seek to meet in one place, no matter how long the acquaintance phase, the basic points of understanding remain vague. But little by little it begins to become clear after the first months of marriage.

From these points, problems begin in the form of a conflict of views, and this is normal because the character and the special rituals differ from one individual to another, but the lack of experience in dealing with one or both parties makes the conflicting views enter the area of ​​verbal quarrels and imposing opinion, which leads to problems that deepen something Little by little until the aversion that prevails in the relationship begins, the most important points occur in that stage, which is the stage of conflicting views according to the nature and character of the individual. To overcome this stage, both parties must believe that these intellectual contradictions are necessary to reach a common language that suits both parties and not vice versa.

Tips:

  • Listening more than talking: the two parties must leave a space of silence in order to listen to the other party, away from the special laws and self-convictions, in order to properly understand the other party, as if you are listening to a friend who wants to form a friendship with him and not a husband who wants to impose what you want on his thinking and habits.
  • Overcoming sharp dialogue: by moving away from the basis of the issue and taking a break to obtain the calm necessary to assess the misunderstanding calmly so that neither party reaches the point of emotional aversion because it is the most difficult.
  • The other party’s behavior in a different way does not mean changing his feelings towards you or uncovering the mask, as some call it. Rather, it is a natural stage in which the compliments fade away, so there is no need for discussion about changes, but rather moving to the stage of acceptance and integration.
  • The disagreements are not problems but rather routine matters that impose themselves, but one of the two parties, if not both of them, transfers those transient differences to the stage of direct problems, but it is better to understand these differences and not to transfer them from day to day until one of the parties does not reach a place where the screaming and criticism becomes merely Daily routine.
  • Some differences in viewpoints may not find common merging points, so separation may be a solution and not a problem. The separation does not express the failure of one of the parties, but rather it is just divergent languages, so the separation while maintaining a kind of friendship may reveal the most important points of understanding between the two parties.
  • A sufficient period of time with both parties after marriage before childbearing is the best way to avoid reaching collective misery, the consequences of which are disastrous for both parties and children.

… Continued…

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Dr. Fadi Al-Yazji

Mental health specialist

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